I'm Not Her
by A Fading Angel
Summary: Kagome's thoughts as she practices archery in the Feudal Era. [InuKag]


I'm Not Her

By: Mitsukai04 

Disclaimer: Don't own.  Don't claim to.  Don't sue!

_Author's Note:_ Short, bittersweet fic that came to me and would not leave until I wrote it.  This story is told from Kagome's POV.

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I surveyed my surroundings as I walked into the wide clearing before nodding in approval.  The grass wasn't too tall and the trees were at a perfect distance.  

A great place to practice my archery.

I placed my bundle of arrows on the ground beside me, fumbling momentarily with the long, billowing sleeves of my miko clothing.  I frowned slightly, remembering that until I returned to my era, this was all I had to wear.  Stupid slimy demon from our last battle… had to go and ruin my uniform.

I picked a tree that seemed to be at a reasonable distance and began to aim and fire.  I like to think that my archery has been improving a great deal since I've been in the Feudal era.  Although I know I never would have picked up a bow and arrow if it hadn't been for Kikyo.

I frowned slightly, my grip on the bow tightening at the thought of her.  I can still remember when Inuyasha awoke from his 50-year slumber.  One glance at me, and he was convinced that I was her.  Even after he realized that I wasn't, he continually had thoughts of her whenever he looked at me.  Anger, bitterness… remorse and regret.  I knew that none of those emotions were aimed at me.  It still stung to know, though, that I was never completely "Kagome" in his eyes.

I released another arrow, hitting my target on the tree as my thoughts continued to wander.  We have been searching for jewel shards for well over a year now, and I like to think that Inuyasha's attitude towards me has changed.  Yet if he were to see me now, with this bow and arrow, wearing miko clothing, my hair pulled back… would he see a glimpse of her still before realizing it's only me?  My eyes narrowed at the very thought.  I'm not her.

I released another arrow, this time letting my powers slip as it shot forward.  I'll never be her.  When I see Kikyo now, even if it is only the embittered part of my soul in her clay body, I know that I could never be her.  I could never stay so angry.  I could never hate Inuyasha like she does.  Even Inuyasha were to truly blame for my death, I could never hate him.  Love conquers hate.  I continue to shoot more arrows, letting my frustration pour through them.  

I'm not her.  

I'm not Kikyo.

I closed my eyes and took deep, calming breaths.  It was then that I sensed a presence, watching me.  Immediately, I turned to a cluster of bushes and aimed my arrow.  When I saw him step forward, my bow and arrow were lowered.  He watched me for a moment, his golden eyes observing me, before stepping forward and towards me.

I smiled at him warmly, dropping my bow altogether.  I began to run towards him, waving.  All the frustration and sadness I felt earlier melted away at the sight of him.  "Inuyasha," I greeted warmly as I finally reached him.

He said nothing, only returned the greeting with a soft smile.  Ignorant of his unusual silence, I grabbed his hand pulled him gently towards where I had been practicing.  "Come look," I urged as he followed me.  I proudly pointed out the large tree that I had chosen.  I had managed to create three vertical rows of arrows.  "See Inuyasha?  Haven't I improved?" I asked, silently begging for some form of approval.  I was somewhat surprised when he turned to me, nodded and said, "Good job, Kagome.  You have improved."

I don't really know what possessed me to do the following, but before I knew it, I had launched myself into his arms, burying my face into the front of his kimono, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist.  He stood stiffly for a moment before returning my embrace, placing one hand on my back and the other on my head.

Oh Inuyasha, how can Kikyo hate you so?  Even knowing the truth about her death, she still despises you and wishes to see you dead.  How can she hate you so much when I… can do nothing but love you?

As if he almost heard my thoughts, I heard Inuyasha whisper softly to me: "Kagome, do you hate me?"  Startled, I pulled away slightly so as to look at him, never releasing my hold on him.  "Of course not.  I could never hate you, Inuyasha."  He looked into my eyes for a moment longer before he nodded, satisfied with my answer.  He pulled me closer to him, tightening his hold on me slightly and he rested his cheek atop my head.  I, in turn, continued to hold him close as we stood quietly in clearing.

We may fight constantly, Inuyasha, but my heart could never turn against you.  And although I may resemble her and do things that remind you of her, please remember, Inuyasha, that I love you and…

I'm not her.

~~~

Alright… so what do you think?  Please review, it's appreciated!  I'm thinking about writing a companion piece for this… I like to know what the readers think! ^_^


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